Monday, August 4, 2008

Left Wing Tax-and-Spenders & the Rose-Colored Dream of John McCain

I hear the old crap about liberals "loving" to tax and spend - as if that, in and of itself, is their goal, just for the hell of it. And now some say that Obama creams his Armani slacks just thinking about it. Boy, you righties sure have all us lefties figured out. We all fit snugly into a nice neat, if elite, little box. Given our rather incredible 2009 estimated budget deficit of around a half trillion dollars and our current national debt of over nine and half trillion dollars, I wonder just "who" are the real "spender offenders" in government?

Let's see.

The Dems tax and spend. The Reps just spend, and spend some more. "We don't need no stinkin taxes!" Hmmm. Which scenario is better? The Bushies, and now McCain, touting how wonderful all the tax cuts have been, and how they should be extended into infinity while the spending goes on willy nilly.

We've managed to spend nearly five and a half trillion dollars in Iraq alone. Now where could a major portion of that pesky national debt have come from? I know! I know! I know! I know! It's those damn welfare queens! We ought to pack up their freeloading asses and send them to Iraq, by god! That'd show em.

And now we're all supposed to believe - just take it on faith, I guess - that given another four to eight years, the Republicans can put all the pieces back together again. Humpty will be whole! We will march out of Iraq with a shining victory and a flourishing democracy firmly in place. The Taliban and Al Qaida will be history, given only to considering the Feng Shui of their respective caves or pits in hell.

We'll be veritably drowning in home grown crude, and gasoline will be like 38 cents a gallon. Alternative energy sources, though no longer a real concern, will nevertheless be fully developed, cheap and plentiful.

Government will be pared down to a bare minimum - most regulatory agencies and government oversight of the private sector will largely also be a thing of the past as business will responsibly regulate itself through the permutations and pressures of the market place. Unions will be unnecessary (and unwanted) as, again, owing to forces in the market, all workers will be working in totally safe environments for competitive wages with equally competitive benefits.

Social security and medicare/medicaid will either be history or well on their way out as most everyone will have and be managing their own retirement accounts. Health care will be totally privatized and ALL citizens will have full access as they will have more than adequate funds with which to pay even catastrophic medical expenses.

The only remaining government subsidies will, of course, be for the tobacco industry. You can't turn your back on such deserving folks, now can you?

Obviously, there's more - we will likely be cleaning up after four or five years of constant, intense bombing throughout Iran - but Halliburten will have all that well in hand.

Congress will pass a measure providing for a large bronze statue of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter (hopefully wearing a short lace teddy) and others depicting them playing "ring-around-the-liberal" to be erected on the Capitol steps. The "liberal" chosen will probably be Al Franken. Little Annie, bless her pea-pickin' heart, will be posed digging a spiked heel into Al's crotch.

The world will be good. The air crisp and free of liberal whining as all on the left will have either seen the light and wisely and properly shifted their allegiances to the right, or those few who remain obdurately "pinko" will have been "encouraged" to remove themselves, to China, North Korea or Russia - or whatever's left of them.

We will all be able to vacation in a "free" Cuba - Havana will be the new Aruba.


Oh, and just a note about the photo above. It is a not particularly interesting shot I took a few weeks ago in Gainesville, Florida. Enjoy!

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