I've been writing a blog now for better than 3 years or so. Owing to a number of reasons, I have never conjured up much of an audience. This blog has virtually no readership. It doesn't much matter. While I have enough of an ego to want to be read, to want people to comment and so forth, I guess the writing itself is really enough. It has it's own therapeutic value. Writing serves as a means to organize one's thinking, to consider how best to present an argument or to tell a tale. It allows for a certain amount of emotional venting.
As I noted in an earlier post, things are not going well for us financially. The problem I find is that for me, it has a paralyzing effect. There are a number of things I could be doing during this extended hiatus from day to day work. Actually, I did a great deal up until the winter weather came whooshing in. We had unseasonably warm weather consistently up to and including Thanksgiving and even a couple of days beyond.
During that time I managed to gather up by various means what amounts to nearly an acre of maple leaves. I cut back rose bushes and some grasses. I weeded and mulched some flower beds, stowed away the patio furniture, etc., etc. I even managed to clean and winterize my mowers and some of my other lawn and garden equipment and tools.
But that's done.
There are obviously things I could be doing in the house. There are a number of things that need attention - a slow running drain in a bathroom lavatory, an accumulation of dust and dirt in my little basement office, probably a number of other things my wife could suggest.
I have made a few half assed attempts to deal with a few "housekeeping" type things, but I find that I spend more and more time sleeping. I read a bit. Watch some TV. But doing much else just doesn't happen. I guess the more I am unconscious, the less time I'll have to be aware of just how precarious our situation is. I don't drink or do drugs. Sleep is my only escape.
I got a little work in on Thursday. Each time that happens, I hope it is the beginning of a trend, that more business will come on its heals. But, nothing more appeared on Friday.
These week-ends have been long. It is rare, even during busy times that I get any new work on Saturday or Sunday. Of late, I have actually gone entire weeks with no work whatsoever. I haven't received more than 2 or 3 assignments in any given week since sometime in September or perhaps early October. When busy, I get 10 or 12, sometimes more.
I was and am very happy that Barack Obama won the election in November. I believe that he will bring about some truly positive change in this country in the coming months and years. However, on a practical level, for us, on a day to day basis, I don't see that his efforts will be particularly helpful to our situation. In time I suppose the economy, and in turn, our business will improve. But there are still some tough times in the offing. Many keep saying that it's still going to get worse before it gets better. Hearing that just makes me want to curl up on the couch and zonk out.
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Monday, December 8, 2008
I've spent the past week - the past 10 days really - fighting a really bad cold. Some have suggested that I have the flu. Could be, I suppose, but I did get a flu shot about 3 or 4 weeks ago. I haven't had a fever that I know of.
Nevertheless, I have spent the last several days amongst a veritable sea of used kleenex. I finally went out to the VA Hospital on Friday, where not having an appointment, I was obliged to spend the better part of 6 hours waiting before I finally saw a doctor. She listened to my chest and heard nothing disturbing, but sent me to have a chest x-ray anyway. Apparently, nothing came of that either. I did get what has become the obligatory Z-Pak of which I have one more dose to take tomorrow.
I suppose I am on my way to shaking this thing, but I still have a bit of a cough via which I am still expectorating stuff that remains a fetching shade of green. (Aren't you glad you started reading this?) The most bothersome symptom remaining is an unrelenting sore throat - specifically at my soft palate. It pisses me off. It actually went away for a few hours yesterday afternoon, but came back just as before by evening and has remained all day today. I suppose with respect to how rotten I have felt over the past several days, it's been good that I haven't had much work to do.
However, the bad thing is that I haven't had much work to do - which has been the case for pretty much the past 6 weeks or so. It's starting to get pretty dicey for us. We are essentially living off of the small amount of money I've earned from the piddling amount of work I've completed during the last several weeks and credit cards - all of which are mounting up to near their limits. I see no end in site.
In the 20 plus years I have run my little business, I have had a number of ups and downs, but this is a different animal all together. I have never seen it quite like this. If I was a drinker... man, I'd be plastered from dawn to dusk and beyond. I guess the upside of this cold I've had is that I've spent a good deal of time over the last several days sleeping - except, of course, the entire night I spent coughing. But, when one is coughing - constantly hacking, one doesn't spend a great deal of time worrying about the state of one's bank account.
I hear Obama's hiring.
Oh, and the pic? Those were the days. Don't bother looking for a hummingbird. There isn't one.
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