THE BEGINNING OF THE END: GROUNDHOG DAY

I just posted the following as a comment to one of my "friend's" postings on Facebook regarding her frustration with the musings of that infamous Pennsylvania woodchuck. I feel it imperitave that I get this message out there.

I have been looking into taking legal action regarding that unholy liberal celebration ostensibly known as "Groundhog Day.". It is difficult to determine just what came first: The groundhog - or more aptly, the whistle pig, the name known by those who recognize the danger signals - or the weather? Regardless, it is clear that a conspiracy is afoot - that the so called "shadow" is actually a left wing cabal intent upon establishing an inclimate radical muslim caliphate that will enforce sharia law in weather forecasting, and force us all to listen to a never-ending loop of Kenny G music. (In that regard, you MUST all gird your loins and remember - "If it ain't country, it ain't music.)


And that's just for starters!


Before we know it - and both the great Holy Man of our time, Glenn Beck, and the much beleaguered John Birch Society have duly warned us - America will soon become, in effect, the western arm of the New Ottoman Empire. Ponxitauney Phil indeed! If you perform a (commie controlled) Google search, you will see that "Phill's" first name has any # of spellings. Exceedingly interesting, no? How dumb do they think we are?


If you are having trouble following the logic of this, if this just doesn't make sense to you, well - that's just what THEY want. Simply close your eyes and listen. Listen to the Beckster. Concentrate. Now, remember how that left wing hack, the so called George H. W. Bush, used to tell us that "it wouldn't be prudent" --- to what? It wouldn't be prudent to look over his left shoulder (but you must remember- his left is your right. See? See how the maniacal Pinkos conspire to confuse good and true, god fearing, right minded, conservative Americans?!!!)


Why? - You may ask. Indeed! Well, isn't it clear why? I mean it's all right out there, plain as day. Keep in mind: We have proof! What proof? Well... never you mind! You must remember the motto of the true conservative: Don't ask, don't ask.


TLS

Just an additional note: RE: Girding of Loins: I am not altogether clear as to the steps to achieving proper girding.